no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
