yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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