I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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