the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize