I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
