dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize