I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
