so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
We have started to decorate penises.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
