I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
