reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
