She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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