i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
