So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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