don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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