She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
A+ Viking dick
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
