I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
