I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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