You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
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