i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Randomize
