i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
