Best friends brother. Beat that.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize