I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
