Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
