shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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