can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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