her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize