Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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