Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
My feet surprised me
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