at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
