Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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