Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I have post one night stand depression
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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