i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
It was confusing and full of hummus
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
