I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
