Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
