i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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