I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
