It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
