I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
