I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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