someone threw a dead crab at me
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Randomize
