Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
