i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
