Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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