He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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