this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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