Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
