I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
