when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
