I feel like I'm in dance class right now
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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