One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
