At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
