They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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