I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
