Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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