he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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