farters have to be the big spoon...
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
