She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I just want nice things and good sex
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
