Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
